How RPG’s work

Busy market place on an alien planet represented by half a dozen traders standing around waving at space and three customers slowly walking between stalls, but never purchasing anything.

Hero: Hi there.

Alien: Dammit! If only I had a wrench I could fix this fusion-tank! If you find it, I might be able to help you.

Hero: Where can I find it?

Alien: I don’t know. But I think it might have been dropped by a soldier who was inexplicably carrying in in their hands at the North-West corner underneath a tree, to the left of a cave, and beside a hedge, on the Galavor battlefield.

Hero: Why don’t you get it?

Alien: I’m far too busy. Plus, I have a bad back.

Hero: Okay, I’ll see if I can find it for you.

[Returns later with said object]

Hero: I got this for you [hands over wrench still attached to a severed arm], hope it was worth it. I killed seven people for it.

Alien: Fantastic, now I can recalibrate the plasma-matrix! Here’s the key you were after and 10,000 credits.

Hero: I didn’t know I needed a key, but thanks anyway. So. you don’t mind that I had to murder seven people so you could give me a key?

Alien: Thanks for your help, and good luck in your quest to restore white power to the galaxy.

Hero: Their screams still haunt me.

Alien: Thanks for your help, and good luck in your quest to restore white power to the galaxy.

Hero: So if you had 10,000 credits to spend, why didn’t you just buy another wrench?

Alien: Thanks for your help, and good luck in your quest to restore white power to the galaxy.

Hero: As a mechanic, do you often send mercenaries on missions to kill people?

Alien: Thanks for your help, and good luck in your quest to restore white power to the galaxy.

Hero: Bye.

Hero turns on spot 180°, jumps up and down, then sprints towards a wall which he slides along magnetically and fires repeatedly at with his sub-machine gun. The half dozen traders continue to wave at thin air and the three customers amble between the stalls, never to buy anything until the end of time.

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One thought on “How RPG’s work

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention How RPG’s work « BrummieDave -- Topsy.com

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